I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
