So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
