why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
