she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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