So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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