I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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