I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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