I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
