theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
