Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
