she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
