Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize