my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
