We won't sleep together?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
my sisters under your porch take her home
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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