I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
