She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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