Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
