I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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