I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
