We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
