I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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