Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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