Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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