you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
