he puts the penis in happiness.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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