WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
