dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
