i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
