Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
