It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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