So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
