he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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