I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
