He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We are all done wearing pants today
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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