I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
