he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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