Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
