so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need a beard to bite.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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