What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
