from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
