Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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