oh god the rape fog is back!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
