i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
