..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
