i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
