Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
