you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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