Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
