Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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