nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize