yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
