if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
