what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
