my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
