I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
