If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
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People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.