i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
