You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.