I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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