1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
