New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
