just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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