i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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