i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
