the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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